*Ọlọrun ò ní gbà fún wọn fa!
By Bọ́lá ADÉWARÁ
Men, do not think this is a joke fa. In many subtle ways, women are increasingly pushing fathers, their husbands out of the narrative whenever the success of their children is being celebrated.
Recently, I attended a wedding engagement ceremony. You know that part of the programme where a young girl is invited to read the letter brought by the groom to the bride’s family? A little girl was called forward, and she read the letter brilliantly. Her diction was excellent, her confidence admirable, and everyone present applauded warmly. Some of us even sprayed her with a few notes in appreciation.
Then came the interesting part. The alaga one of those women who coordinate and direct engagement ceremonies – began to commend the girl. In a loud voice, she declared: “Your mother and your teachers have done so well. May the Lord bless them. You have made your mother and your teachers proud.”
That statement struck me immediately. ‘Your mother and your teachers?’ Where is the father in this narrative? Father nko? Haba! I could not keep quiet. I raised my voice and asked, “What about the father?” Immediately, other men seated nearby joined in. “What of the father who pays the school fees? Must it always be the mother and the teachers alone who receive recognition? Wàhálà mà tin dé bá àwa ọkùnrin o!
Our voices echoed around the hall. The alaga heard us and quickly realised her deliberate omission. “Ah, fathers, I am sorry o!” she exclaimed. “I did not mean any disrespect. Please forgive me. Daughter, you have made your daddy proud as well.”
“Too late!” I replied dramatically.
The hall erupted in laughter, and the programme continued.
But, bros, there is a serious lesson in this incident fa! Had nobody spoken up, the moment would have passed exactly as it was. The mother’s contribution would have been acknowledged. The teachers would have been praised. The father’s role would simply have vanished into thin air.
Society has become so accustomed to celebrating mothers that it sometimes forgets fathers altogether. Bros, do not allow yourselves to become invisible in the success story of your children. Speak up to ensure that fatherhood is not erased from the story. All this ètekéte by women, Ọlọun ò ní gbà fún wọn fa. Mi ò fi para rárá. Mo yá a sọ̀rọ̀ sókè. After all, ayé sọ̀rọ̀ sókè la wà.
And by God’s grace, fathers will not be pushed into the background of irrelevance and nothingness. May the contributions of fathers everywhere be recognised, appreciated, and honoured. Amen.
*Adewara lives in Lagos
